Prozac Generation

3 May 2006

It's been awhile since i've written in my blog. Something has been going on in my mind for awhile that today it made me decide i might actually have something worthwhile writing on my blog for once.

For a week or so I've been reading the blog of this guy who allegedly tortured, raped and murdered a 10-year-old girl with the intent of eating her down in Purcell, Oklahoma, in the US of A. Now you must be wondering "What the fuck are you doing reading the blog of that fucking monster?" Well yes, a monster he has definitely become, but after reading his blog entries from as far back as 2002, I doubt he was a monster back then. When I read through his entries, I began to realise his entries were just like any other blogs I've read before, including mine. This guy was seemingly so ordinary, he couldve been anyone I know.

The thing that got to me was how he must've snapped after being dumped by this girl he'd been pursuing for 8 years. When he finally got the chance to be with her, she threw it back in his face and told him how they should just "be friends" instead. And how he felt at the time - after years and years of being told by girls that they saw him as more of a friend, sometimes even considered him "one of the girls", and then expect him to take it lightly.

But, as he so eloquently put it, it fucking HURTS.

His subsequent sense of apathy to his surroundings (even picking up a piece of paper on the floor became a chore for him) over the next few months leading to the murder didn't surprise me. That was the point where he was slowly becoming the monster he is today.

Don't get me wrong, I am not condoning what he did. I am just saying, this guy has gone through what alot of people I know, myself included, have gone through. The only difference is, he SNAPPED. That's the part that scares me the most, and that was the thing that made me think about what I've been going through lately and WHY i should be thankful for alot of things.

I am thankful for my (still intact) and sometimes supportive family.
I am thankful for the few damned honest friends that I have to date.
I am thankful for the family members and close friends who died over the last 7 years, leaving me a legacy to work on in MY life.
I am thankful for the people who have helped me realise that there are better ways to put my overactive imagination to use, rather than being depressed all the time.
I am thankful for my job.

And lastly, but definitely NOT the least, I am thankful that I had the willpower to overcome and survive the obstacles of my Prozac Generation.