Sterility

8 May 2007

Met up with some acquaintances on Sunday for beer and milo dinosaur. It's been awhile since I've caught up with them. The dynamics have changed in our little group. I could feel it, and I wonder if they could too.

Maybe I've got a lot on my mind, maybe I think too much, maybe I'm just tired of these shackles, that bind me to the mundaneness of everything....but I found myself really not so noisy on Sunday. They talked about filters, well my filters are dirty now and I really can't be bothered to clean them out.

But it was good to be doing something different on a Sunday - not so much the discussion on feelings - but more a case of just hanging out with friends, no expectations, no pressure, just us and food.

Darren leaves for Perth for good on 9th June. I think I am going to miss him, But then again he has been absent from my life for 1.5 years, steeped up in his depression of not being able to leave Singapore. Not being able to get out of this prison we were born into. There are people who will tell me things like "You don't know what you're saying, Singapore is a great place to live in! Free of crime, clean, orderly.."

Sterile. Too sterile - to the point that the truth about how things really are get swept under a great big rug so that anybody who wasn't born here wouldn't see things the way they really are. I reckon you have to be born here to see it, to be inside looking out.

But hey, where else in the world is it any better? Right now I'm happy here in my own little world, with my music and my pc and books.